An Austin, Texas NFL Team Would Be Hilarious

NFL team the Buffalo Bills tweeted about Austin, Texas being a candidate for their new home. I was thoroughly inspired by this

I heard about this and my synapses started firing like it was 4th of July.

Oh , the fun I had imagining these things for an Austin team.

The Austin NFl Stadium would be called the Yerba Mate stadium with their logo smattered all over the walls inside.

The football players! They would all have gauges in their ears, thick rimmed glasses, and picked out the binder “Tribal Tattoos” and chinese characters that spelt things like “water” in english

Everytime the Austin Bros, that’s the name of the NFL team they would be renamed to the Austin Bros, kicked a field goal and missed. Cheech would show up on the giant screen smoking a dog turd.

Every time the Ausin Bros scored a touchdown, got an interception, or forced a fumble on the other team Seth Rogans Laugh would play over all the speakers in the stadium.

And at halftime… A skilled team of fixed gear cyclists will pedal onto the field and do passive aggressive things. like there would be a guy with a pinata like car over his body walking down the field on a makeshift road with confetti for stripes and bike lanes and the cyclists would drive in front of him and they would bicker at each other like clowns. Other shows would include e-scooter trick shows.

All the concession stands would sell are spiked kombucha and Yerba Mate. No food.

This was fun to write and I hope it made you chuckle as well!